I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
