there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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