So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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