Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
