Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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