If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
