Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
