Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
