a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
