so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
