nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
