I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
