perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
