she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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