we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
