i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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