the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
This house was built for laser tag.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
