never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I deserve this hangover.
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