We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
