Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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