The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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