i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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