I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
