I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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