Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
