God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
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