you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
NoShamevember. You game?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
