i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
please come you make the beer taste better
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
