just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
