Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
