tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
