I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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