I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
