I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
