i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
