OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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