Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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