You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I didn't notice because vodka
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Randomize
