Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
