Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
