i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
