I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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