Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
