is your mom at the bar?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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