sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
