Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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