lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
