im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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