Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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