Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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